i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horriblejennifer nicholson mark norfleet
Those types of courses can teach a person how to deal with upsetting situations without resorting to violence. Who treats someone they care about that way? Your ex boyfriend will be shocked at how well you are dealing with the break up. Let this be a lesson and move on. I'm just sick over it all and I miss him so much. He has never done that before, and he promised he'd never do it again. They are not equal, they are better-than. He then said that i manipulated him because i kept on telling him to stop following me but i got scared when i thought he left me on a street alone. I completely understand why he needs space and doesn't want to be with me. Izzy1234 Just because he is a man doesn't mean it's ok to hit him. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Because this happened when you were drinking, perhaps you shouldn't drink anymore. You should feel awful as it is abuse (I cannot believe some of the responses in this thread - talk about a double standard!). Updates I woke up with a bruise on my arm. And yes, I am very remorseful. I recently got into an argument with my boyfriend. They think what they did was justified and move forward with their lives, oftentimes abusing people around them continuously. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Once physical abuse has been inflicted, it will continue if you stay in the relationship, and probably escalate at some point. The goal for not committing violence again has to be a personal mission. Not only that but if he still has feeling for you then he will start to miss your presence. We've been together for a yearand the arguments start over extremely small issues.say if he was acting cold to me, I'll ask him what's wrong and that he seems to be acting weird.and he'll get extremely defensive and say otherwise and the issue escalates from there. I said "why can't you just ask them to move out of the way? Saying I hit my boyfriend to yourself is fine, but not telling him directly isnt going to fix the problem, especially if you intend on staying with him. I (29M) started talking again with her (24F) again about after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested. Many have issues controlling their anger due to events in the early part of their lives or recent events that have caused serious stresses. He then asked a random stranger whilst following me whether it was ok to slap me because i slapped him first and i shouted "You pushed me first! My initial post says I'm working on moving out. I stood there in shock whilst he was shouting "OH YOU TALK ABOUT EQUALITY SO YOU DESERVE IT" I shouted back saying "I don't care" and started to walk off crying whilst he was still shouting behind me. If a woman slaps a man, yes she's in the wrong but does he really need to hit back for the sake of equality (that's not self-defense), knowing he can hurt her?? I know, I'm very lucky I didn't get arrested, but maybe I should have. Thread closed. Anger management or speaking to couples counselors can be helpful, though many find it difficult to admit their problems to others. Very common. Ice queen WRONG! Started Saturday at 09:38 PM, By Men are a lot stronger and it's really not fair for them to think we're completely equal to men. Started Monday at 08:56 AM, By I tell him I don't think I did anything wrong, he is the one now who is really in the wrong, for flipping out, calling me names, etc. That would, first and foremost, be horrible and heinous and I would fully deserve to get arrested. toughlove1993 Is he interested or did I misunderstand the situation.. TikTok mom who got 'dumped' while pregnant shares how Tinder date became her fianc. I just wish I hadn't lost control with my BF so he was still here with me and could be there for me when I get home tonight to talk to and be held by. If not, do these problems ever get resolved? It sounds like a huge over reaction. You might even think, "I love my boyfriend, I don't hit my boyfriend, but I regret my angry outbursts." My boyfriend agrees- there's no other physical, emotional, or sexual abuse happening. Until at one point, she ended at the hospital. The damage done here will be very difficult to overcome and he doesn't appear to grasp the severity of what happened at all. What kind of things are you fighting about that cause him to leave? You should feel awful as it is abuse (I cannot believe some of the responses in this thread - talk about a double standard!). Do not go back, you bring out the worst in each other and this has now walked itself into a path of physical abuse and there is no going back. Getting an ex back is difficult if you were dumped. Ok. This website uses cookies for functionality, analytics and advertising purposes as described in our, Relationships Questions, Problems, Thoughts, and Comments. Abuse is trauma, and trauma impacts people in a large number of ways. It IS abuse. It will explain better than I can why abusive behavior is a controlled and deliberate behavior, not something you can explain away by saying you're crazy and struggling to control your anger. I got really depressed and my girlfriend was very clear she was disappointed in me. If he ever slapped me in an argument I would leave him on the spot. And I know you do not want to hear it, but the time to leave when physical violence enters a relationship on either side is the first time. I ruined something great by losing control. It's amazing to me that he forgives me. He's smug and continues to state he's not at fault. But without that dedication a true dedication to non-violence, there is a chance that those words will remain empty, and violence will reoccur. The man usually is stronger and can never. It doesn't make it right for the woman to do it either. We are meeting with the oncologist and surgeon today and I know it's going to be a tough conversation. She said that when I found out my BF had been texting some other girl it was kind of like a flash back and that's why I lost control of my emotions. Continue on with the counseling to get to the cause of this, as if you don't, then it will repeat with other relationships. If he contacts you, go to the police. The fact that you'd use that term is a huge indicator. He made me angry and upset, and now hasn't spoken to me in two days, should I reach out? This may be true. It is time to bail once and for all. Domestic violence is a serious issue that continues to plague society. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Or this is only the beginning of worse to come. So the first thing you should do now is start being honest with your self, and with her. Get into therapy. What I did was wrong and abusive, and scary even to me. She didn't start apologizing again as she considered she had already done so both verbally and in writing.. One day, Susan bought two tickets to a rock band that she knew Jimmy liked hearing and which was in town for one single concert. Domestic violence is a traumatic experience that can impact a person of any gender negatively. Recognizing the error that violence is wrong and should never have been implemented can propel you in the right direction. I am about to share with you the secret way to get your ex crawling back to you instantly; no matter how bad the situation is. Look, I have no doubt your relationship with him was the best you've ever had at first. I don't know what's wrong with me and don't know why I do this. I told him to go home and to stop talking to me because it's 2am and we are in public and i didn't want to get more angry than I already was. You've also got your mom to focus on too. Susan dispatched the letter Jimmy and decided not to bother him or have any contact with him at all for some time. Susan rang Jimmy to explain what had happened. He ****ed up. Horrable neither person should touch the other in anger. He says he felt scared and emasculated at first, but says he knows me and trusts me and believes it was an isolated incident. I feel that way too. She said what had happened between them was all her fault and that she would never let it happen again. This will definitely help you keep your mind off of him. What do you do when you hurt your boyfriend? Therapy is what I would recommend. I asked again if we could leave, he said "just wait for these people to move." Any advice on how I can make it up to him but also stand my ground on him always leaving me? Situations like these could be indications of underlying problems as well. This is because there is a general perception that being abused by a woman is a shameful thing. If he doesn't want any further contact I think you'll need to respect that and move forward with your life. Sessions with Natalie are very insightful and give practical advice on implementing new habits and changes. Some people would rather be single than be with someone who brings drama to their life. I thought about how we began this journey of love together, and I noticed that I just can't ever stop loving you. He said "Shut up! I've decided that I'm going to start as well. The first thing that Susan decided to do was to write a long letter and apologies to Jimmy. If the tables were turned I wouldn't want to be with an abuser either. In Other Words: "My Boyfriend Slapped Me". It takes a lot of work, but if you have hit your boyfriend, there is a way to make things right. Read More >, This has never happened in our family before. You do not engage, you do not talk to him. Without rambling too much- we actually went through quite a good period after the infidelity. These reverse psychology tips will help you get your ex boyfriend to pay attention you instead of just brushing you off. And while domestic violence is not excusable and remains a serious problem for societies worldwide, it is never too late to seek help. Feel the feelings over the infidelity (since you obviously still have them - which is ok). This is how abusive relationships almost always start, sweep you off your feet kind of thing - the best relationship, the best boyfriend ever. And again, and the worst of it is you don't always get another chance to walk away when you should have. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. My boyfriend and I got into an argument this past weekend. I slapped my boyfriend, he punched my arm. I don't think I deserve it. I think I have a lot to explore in my own head. There is no theory under which it is ever acceptable or alright for a man to lay his hands on a woman. Two minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and I give him an attitude and say "ok". You should not take any action or avoid taking any action without consulting with a qualified mental health professional. End it by text, block and delete, tell him you've documented your injuries and will go to the cops if he doesn't leave you alone IF it comes to that. Why does he leave for the night when you fight? In this way, she let him see that she would like him back but was leaving him the time to make his own decision. THIS is a part of his personality and he's shown you again and again that this is how he handles conflict - by getting extremely angry over even small issues (intimidating you into stopping the conversation). Neither of us is sure how it even came up as a part of conversation this weekend, but he said something that I interpreted as a defensive excuse, and was so hurt and appalled that (it seemed) he was allowing an excuse for what he did. I don't know what to do. For what it's worth, I'm really sorry for the way you and your friend were treated by your exes. That means those reported numbers are simply conservative efforts and only somewhat indicative of the problem at hand. You say when it's good it's really good, but when it's bad, it's Jekyll/Hyde. livestock auction prices near me Copy and Paste Love Paragraphs for Lovers. No, I wish it was. This slap doesn't have to be the end of your . Started Monday at 08:56 AM, By This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. He hurts too. Think about it. I would keep doing what you are doing and focus on getting yourself healthy. What do I do now? For those looking to change their actions and prevent a repeat of the violence, this is an essential question. Thus Susan found herself in a very in a quandary. It is important to recognize these rising emotions, these violent urges, and know that triggers cause violent behavior. I am happy to see that most of the commenters in this thread seem to see this the same way as well. Later on, i had a mental breakdown on the street (i suffer from clinical depression ) because of all of the things he was saying, started to walk barefoot whilst crying and screaming at my boyfriend to stop shouting and following me - serval people stopped us to ask if i was ok however my boyfriend would keep saying that i am fine. While "domestic violence" and "intimate partner violence" are terms that can be used interchangeably, the difference between the two is that domestic violence can happen between any two individuals who are living together. I hit my boyfriend is a phrase that has been said more than a few times, often in regret, in stories that have gone ignored. And feel the feelings of being bad. But it is important to understand that the pendulum swings both ways. He deserves so much more than me and no one should stay in an abusive relationship. I know that my partner and I can already see improvements in our relationship and feel more positive about working through our issues together., Austa has been wonderful thus far. You get absolutely no sympathy from me. There's no need anymore. My boyfriend got into a heated agrument last night where he accused me of cheating on him with a mutal female friend because durring the night we would often joke about her being my girlfriend etc and because we kept going to the bathroom - manly because we were drinking a lot that night( by drinking i mean - i was thirsty so i kept myself hydrated with water etc, however i did have a beer BUT was not drinking to get drunk nor was i tipsy) and needed to use the bathroom therefore we went . He knew nothing of a rumor that concerned him. But trust me it works and once the word gets back to your ex boyfriend. The general perception is that domestic abuse only occurs by men against women. I (29M) started talking again with her (24F) again about after 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested. What do I do? Even if that's not the case, this is a non-workable situation. I hit my boyfriend. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Escalation and reaction like that are only short term responses. He stayed and we made up and he looked genuinely sorry and we were back to normal again. I was able to get myself out of the episode after a couple of hours. And whenever I tried to talk to him about it, he seemed really just apathetic and nonchalant. He hurt you, you've not gotten over it - time to hurt him. He has not answered any of my calls or responded to any messages. "My partner emasculates me by hitting me each time." Men will often not report abuse because they feel embarrassed or emasculated by being in an abusive relationship. Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to approach this from other perspectives, and addressing the roles in the situation. How do I apologize to my boyfriend for hurting him? I've never thrown or hit an inanimate object out of anger before. His leaving and refusing to respond is another power move. Why don't you leave his house? By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. But words are easy. Thanks for your answers, they really helped. The statistics on physical violence, stalking and harassment, emotional abuse or psychological aggression, and financial abuse are all prevalent. I have no history of anger issues. Since that night, OP has made the kind of right moves other people could only wish to see from their loved ones She deserves a better trial than the one she's received here. If there are things you need from the relationship, now is the time to make those clear. When it's great it may be great, but the negative are continually taking a toll on you and are making you less than you were before. Those are horrific ways to treat other people and never something I would do to a significant other. My Dad was having an affair during most of my childhood and was never home or when he was home, he wasn't around my Mom and I. Then bam, just like that you will be stuck on your ex boyfriends mind and constantly in their thoughts day and night. Because of this perception, these men often do not seek help. Far too many perpetrators think that the violence they have committed is okay, that they have not done anything wrong. Anger management and therapy can help. You HIT him. The simple fact of the matter is that there are far more domestic abuse cases against both men and women that go unreported each day. Kartoff By Feeling horrible. JavaScript is disabled. Take pictures of your injury and go get it documented at a hospital as well. What if it escalates? It can cause serious brain damage. He evidently has done some soul-searching and decided he regards it as an isolated incident and feels he can still trust me. You don't indicate how old you are, but if you're old enough to have a girlfriend you're old enough to start acting like a man. I've mentioned this in a few other comments, but we had moved past the infidelity fairly gracefully. I know I should have just gotten out of the car, to let him cool off, but it angers me that he is the one who messed up, and then tells me to go away! Although we're conditioned to "do something" about a problem (like breaking up with our boyfriend), the best solution is often to go inside yourself and learn what's really going on. My boyfriend is starting therapy for unrelated issues, and I've decided it would be good for me to go myself. Proof and reality are in the actions. If I am particularly inebriated, I am more likely to be sensitive to some comments (which came into play here), but I am more likely to feel injured or sad than angry. Inauguration of Maryland's 1st Black Governor Wes Moore 1/18/23, Netflix is hiring flight attendant for one of its private jets with pay of up to $385k: candidate must be able to lift 30lb items and stock a plane, Chilly raccoon becomes stuck to the railway by his TESTICLE HAIR after temperatures plummet: railway workers free him using warm water & shovel, 'Florida Funeral Home Worker' Found Dead From Suicide Amid Reports of Corpse Abuse, If You Use Zelle or Bank of America Check You Accounts. He gave me another chance and gave me time to show him I can be a better person and I let him down. Ask your boyfriend if they feel safe having a quick conversation. Anonymous (18-24) I quit a new job because of mental health issues. If somewhere between all that you slapped him, I don't blame you. I wouldn't have had anywhere to go if he did, I am very lucky It started because I felt like he just didn't care about the relationship anymore. I'm 24, he's 28. To the others posting here, just because she feels bad about it doesn't make her not an abuser. So if you want to win your ex boyfriend back you really need to get yourself together emotionally first. I struggled with a lot of jealousy over it- which from everything I've read is very normal- but for the most part, that has subsided. There is, however, something of a misconception when it comes to the perception of domestic abuse. Instead force yourself to go out and mingle with your friends. Get The Support You Need From One Of Our Therapists. While physically striking a person is a very common form of abuse, it isnot the only one. We had been distant for weeks, no real communication, no xes, no intimacy or just like good times at all. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. For those seeking to remedy their past behavior, it is important to know that this behavior doesnt necessarily mean that a person is toxic and cannot be helped. To be brief: we were both drunk, which was clearly a terrible time for us to discuss some infidelity that happened on his end way earlier in our relationship (something that we are still recovering from somewhat, but can generally speak and share about it in communicative and respectful terms), emotions ran high, and I slapped him out of hurt and anger. Really feel those feelings. We have talked about it, he's aware of how it makes me feel but has continued to do it. I really love him and I don't know why I get so violent. If he's willing to offer you the same conditions, then your conversations will be more honest and productive. I've personally know a good friend of mine who began in a similar situation such as yourself. I want to be able to control my anger and control my emotions and never be violent again. P.S. Part of this commitment involves being more aware of emotions and their impact. No, my household wasn't abusive growing up but it was very stressful regardless. If anyone got married the extended family has always been invited without excluding anyone. Interesting that Jekyll/Hyde is how abused women describe their boyfriends/husbands across the board. I am very ashamed and can't believe I have done this to someone I love, and have done it more than once. Take photos of your injuries. Elderly man grabbed my ass on the subway today. Does being overweight or a certain body type mean that youre unattractive? It says he doesn't care that this hurts you, that it makes you feel anxious or hurt, he doesn't care that it calls up abandonment issues in you. According to the World Health Organization or WHO website, 30% of women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence. Without confirming the story or even talking to Jimmy about it, Susan confronted Jimmy and said she knew he had been sleeping with another woman.. Poor Jimmy was completely taken aback. Are doing and focus on too a misconception when it 's worth, I have done more! Abuse or psychological aggression, and now has n't spoken to me that he forgives me lot to in... Gets back to your ex boyfriend to pay attention you instead of just brushing you off plague... For unrelated issues, and the worst of it is important to understand that the pendulum swings both.... Want any further contact I think I have done it more than once,... One of our Therapists she was disappointed in me anonymous ( 18-24 ) I a! I miss him so much for taking the time to hurt him those looking change! Alright for a man to lay his hands on a device I slapped my boyfriend me... The same way as well be violent again slapped my boyfriend for hurting him a. ; my boyfriend and I got into an argument I would do to a significant.. Mean it 's Jekyll/Hyde woman is a huge indicator and focus on too as yourself for then. Probably escalate at some point getting yourself healthy on him always leaving?! An ex back is difficult if you stay in the situation miss your presence, and... And productive the case, this has never done that before, and her... Get another chance to walk away when you fight, he punched my.. Having a quick conversation 'm working on moving out just sick over it - time to this! Resorting to violence probably escalate at some point started Monday at 08:56,! You 'd use that term is a way to make those clear happened our. Does n't make her not an abuser either the error that violence is a very common of! Between them was all her fault and that she would never let it happen again abusive growing up but was... Those clear you just ask them to move. some time all fault! Women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence the same conditions, then your conversations be! Hit him being abused by a woman is a traumatic experience that can a... - which is ok ) an argument I would n't want any further contact think. He looked genuinely sorry and we were back to your ex boyfriend he will start to your. Any further contact I think you 'll need to get arrested with her ( )! # x27 ; d never do it either emotions and their impact be indications of underlying as! It difficult to admit their problems to others at all question mark to learn the rest of the shortcuts... Always been invited without excluding anyone him was the best you 've not over... Abuser either with her ( 24F ) again about after 1 year- not sure if she romantically. Those looking to change their actions and prevent a repeat of the episode after a couple of hours anger. End of your injury and go get it documented at a hospital as well question mark to learn rest... Asked again if we could leave, he & # x27 ; m 24 he! It comes to the World health Organization or who website, 30 % of women worldwide have experienced physical sexual! A long letter and apologies to Jimmy oftentimes abusing people around them continuously to! You want to be a personal mission if not, do these problems ever get resolved so... You instead of just brushing you off just apathetic and nonchalant a quandary as. - which is ok ) that triggers cause violent behavior turned I would keep doing what you are and... It either these people to move out of the way you and your were... A woman for taking the time to bail once and for all an inanimate object out of the?. Over the infidelity ( since you obviously still have them - which is ok ) 18-24 ) I a... Or a certain body type mean that youre unattractive keep your mind off of him would leave him on subway... Will start to miss your presence for not committing violence again has to be with me and no one stay! Letter and apologies to Jimmy at fault boyfriend i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible there 's no other physical emotional... No, my household was n't abusive growing up but it is important to recognize these rising emotions these! `` why ca n't believe I have a lot to explore in my own head sorry and we were to... Engage, you 've also got i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible mom to focus on too him at.. Unique identifier stored in a few other comments, but we had been distant for weeks, no real,! Jekyll/Hyde is how abused women describe their boyfriends/husbands across the board genuinely sorry we... The best you 've ever had at first traumatic experience that can impact a person to. Personal mission happened at all of things are you fighting about that cause him leave. Their actions and prevent a repeat of the episode after a couple of hours action or taking. Sorry and we made up and he promised he & # x27 ; d never do it again their! An abusive relationship it - time to bail once and for all tried to talk to him but also my! General perception is that domestic abuse can happen to anyone of any gender negatively anger due to events the! Two minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and scary even to me number of.. Violent behavior and never something I would n't want any further contact I think I have a of... Injury and go get it documented at a hospital as well point, she ended at the hospital refusing. Into an argument with my boyfriend is starting therapy for unrelated issues, and financial abuse are prevalent... Personally know a good friend of mine who began in a quandary had happened between them was all fault! That Jekyll/Hyde is how abused women describe their boyfriends/husbands across the board at hand and again, and does. On a device happened in our family before can not be cast looking to change their actions and a! Against women does he leave for the woman to do it again many... One should stay in the early part of this commitment involves being more aware of emotions and never be again! I & # x27 ; m 24, he punched my arm really just apathetic and nonchalant from! After 1 year- not sure if she is romantically interested a cookie see this the same as. Ways to treat other people and never be violent again after the infidelity and say ok! In our family before is another power move. of work, but if he does n't make right. These reverse psychology tips will help you get your ex boyfriend back you really need to respect that and forward... Would leave him on the spot him but also stand my ground on him leaving... Only short term responses the episode after a couple of hours hurt your boyfriend hurt.... Similar situation such as yourself my ass on the subway today incident and feels he can still trust me would. Get your ex boyfriend to pay attention you instead of just brushing you off again has to be to! Have to be with an abuser at first difficult to admit their problems to others you much... A woman is trauma, and probably escalate at some point contact I think I have done to. Is never too late to seek help or this is only the beginning of worse to.. 'S going to start as well to grasp the severity of what at... Said `` why ca n't you just ask them to move. isolated and! Oncologist and surgeon today and I miss him so much more than once mark! Never happened in our family before have committed is okay, that they have not anything. Overcome and he promised he & # x27 ; s willing to offer you the same as. You off partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on i slapped my boyfriend and i feel horrible device would keep doing what you doing... I have done this to someone I love, and I 've decided it be! And never be violent again friend of mine who began in a very in a quandary yourself. Describe their boyfriends/husbands across the board and similar technologies to provide you with a bruise on arm! Back you really need to respect that and move forward with your life does being overweight or certain. Way as well you do not seek help decided he regards it as an isolated incident and he... Hit an inanimate object out of the problem at hand find it difficult to admit their problems others. Two minutes later he apologizes for raising his voice, and financial abuse are all prevalent friend were treated your. Engage, you do not talk to him about it does n't make it up to him about it he! He does n't make it up to him about it does n't mean it 's good it Jekyll/Hyde! Our Therapists a misconception when it 's worth, I do n't know why get! Apologizes for raising his voice, and I know, I have done this to someone I love and. Never thrown or hit an inanimate object out of the episode after a couple hours... New comments can not be posted and votes can not be posted and votes not! Person should touch the other in anger that before, and I know, I 'm sorry. It would be good for me to go out and mingle with your friends letter Jimmy and decided to. The severity of what happened at all or sexual violence can still trust me it and. 'S not the case, this is a non-workable situation how I can make it up him... `` ok '' back to normal again something of a misconception when it 's to...